Canker City

I was unaware and unprepared for the battle I was to encounter at work today. We arrived with high hopes of finishing this humongous home and it felt good to be done with that damned lattice fence! I was painting the side boards of their pathway when I was startled to find something dangling in front of my face (okay, I know someone just said "that's what she said"). I freaked out (in a quiet way of course) and tried to keep working. Now I was paranoid. I looked up and saw thousands upon thousands of cankerworms perched on every leaf of the looming tree beside me. The cankerworm's only purposes in life seem to include: 1. To rappel at impressive and unbelievable speeds, 2. To destroy every tree they land on, and 3. To dangle and sway with the intention of scaring the living bejesus out of people. I cannot believe I'm saying this but I think I hate cankerworms more than mosquitoes; I live in Winnipeg (Mosquito Headquarters)! The brown twig lookin' ones are the worst (this is not a racial slur) because they blend in with the trees and don't look as friendly as the green ones. I nicknamed them all Mortimer (mor-tuh-mer) because I thought it would help me get over my fear of them, so the rest of the day my co-worker (Ryan Malech) and I called them that (I thought it was funny...). After our morning break we headed up to a bedroom balcony to paint the railing and found the place swarming with Mortimers [cankerworms]. With a scraper as my sword in my left hand and my paint brush in my right, I was ready for battle.

Life Lesson: Never have sympathy towards a Paleacrata vernata [cankerworm]. It will back stab you when you least expect it. I was actually bitten on the neck a few days ago and I returned no mercy to the wee beast.

I believe I ended up flicking over 100 Mortimers off the balcony (PETA, please don't come after me). It's funny because once you touch them they jolt upright and stay stiff (oh wow, I set myself up again). So, as Ryan and I imitated their actions, the woman and her baby/toddler in the pool below looked at that exact moment. All we could do was laugh and wave. After this I was lucky to be able to paint and not worry about the little buggers getting on me because they were preoccupied playing king of the hill with my paint bucket. I actually saw one wrap itself around another and try to fling it off the balcony. Survival of the fittest is all around us my friends.
We made it to lunch alive and were surprised to see a messed up cloud formation above us (it was really messed, one cloud looked like the eye of a hurricane). I cannot believe how unpredictable Winnipeg's weather is! Last week them meteorologists called for thunderstorms all week when it turned out beautiful and, of course, this week was suppose to be beautiful but now we're getting the thunderstorms! Anyways, we were forced to retreat early from today's battle due to rain, but I have a feeling we will wage war on more Mortimers in the days to come...

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Check this song: In Our Bedroom After The War by Stars (I can play it on piano!!).